Stealing Wallets (Spanking); A Common Conversation

Stealing Wallets (Spanking); A Common Conversation

What does it mean to follow the NAP?

Simple! Just don’t aggress against people or their property.

Oh great! I already do that, most of the time.

Oh? What about the other times?

 Well, I’ll admit, sometimes I steal people’s wallets in dark alleys (spank my kid). But you know, I try to follow it in general.

Oh, well, you’re failing. You’re not following it.

Well I am actually. Day in and day out, I’m very well behaved. But sometimes, I just get really low on money (patience), and I run out of ideas, and so I steal peoples wallets (spank my kid).

Ok. So you don’t follow the NAP. You can’t violate it sometimes and say you follow it.

Give me a break! You’re saying I should NEVER steal people’s wallets (spank my kid)? Are you serious??

Yeah. Either come up with a plan to avoid being low on money (patience), or if you do run out of money (patience), find a peaceful solution to get some.

I already told you! I am peaceful! Like, almost always! I follow the NAP. It’s just SOMETIMES I steal wallets (spank my kid). And that’s only after I’ve tried every other solution I can think of!

You haven’t tried every other solution. I’m pretty sure there’s about infinite ways to do it peacefully.

I’m not perfect you know, like you think you are. I’m human, sometimes I make mistakes, alright?

You steal wallets (spank your kids) by mistake? Like you’re just sitting in your living room, broke (out of patience), and then you just accidentally go out and steal wallets (spank your kids)?

Well… You’re telling me when you’re out of money (patience) you just sit there and do nothing? You don’t steal wallets (spank your kids)?

Oh no I don’t do nothing. I just decided to get a job (find peaceful solutions) instead.

It’s not so easy to get a job (find peaceful solutions) you know.

Yeah, I guess. I could help you with that. But you know, sometimes I still run out of money (lose my patience), and you know what I don’t do? Mug people (hit my kids).

WHOA WHOA! I’m not talking about MUGGING people (hitting my kids). I’m talking about stealing their wallets by just pointing a gun at them(spanking my kids), big difference, buddy.

Ummm. Ok, is mugging not stealing?

Mugging, stealing, armed robbery (hitting, spanking, swatting), all VERY different.

Alright. Well, they’re all NAP violations, so, moot point I guess.

So then what do you do? You quit stealing wallets (spanking) and you go broke anyway (lose your patience), and then I bet your little “peaceful” experiment results in total chaos and suffering for your family.

No, in fact, I think it brings us closer together. I just admit “Hey family, Im broke (out of patience), I’m out of ideas, I need help” And we just come together and find a solution. My family can see how serious and upset I am, and they can simply cut back on expenses (the behaviors that pushed me to that point) for a little while. Later we can work on ways to avoid getting there altogether. It’s really nice.

No offense, but this is completely unrealistic. You think you’re all high and mighty because you don’t steal wallets (spank your kids)?! And you must hate stupid people like me who steal wallets (spank their kids) because you live in some fantasy world where you don’t have to steal wallets (spank your kids). You don’t know my situation, dude, you don’t know me.

Well, I do, kinda. And I don’t hate you. I used to think stealing wallets (spanking) was acceptable. But then I started applying the NAP to my decisions, and now I see it’s not.

Yeah well, somebody stole my wallet at gunpoint (spanked me) a while ago, and I’m totally FINE with it!

That’s… Wow, I’m sorry. A lot to unpack there.

No it’s fine, in fact, you know, I’m actually PRO-wallet stealing (spanking). I’m glad they stole from (spanked) me! I think it’s good for people.

Really? So you’d steal a wallet from (spank) a cop, or a friend?

Oh God no! I mean, they could just steal it back from me, that would be awful! I just mean from people who can’t steal it back.

Whoa, hold on, isn’t that worse? Like, you would only steal from (spank) people who have no ability to do the same thing?

Yeah, cuz, you know, I wanna teach them, like, not to steal from (hit) each other.

Ow my brain.

Ugh, c’mon, it’s not like I’d steal from (spank) YOU or my friends. Just defenseless people who are totally dependent on me in every way and can’t escape my presence.

Oh no.

It’s not that bad. In fact, after I point a gun at them and steal their wallet (spank them) I often apologize, and we all just forgive and forget. They know I’m doing it out of love.

I’m going to go throw up now.

But seriously, if you want to be pro-wallet stealing (spanking), I can’t force you not to. But then you gotta quit saying that you use peaceful, non-aggressive methods to get what you want. You don’t follow the NAP, you initiate force against the bodies of helpless people. You do something that would be criminal if the victim was anyone but this defenseless, dependent person. If you want to advocate for that lifestyle, go for it, but you can’t hide behind the words that mean the exact opposite of what you’re doing.

(At this point they’ll be either insulting/attacking, crying and running off, or arguing that words are subjective. I’ll spare you.)

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